Post by lugnut on Mar 13, 2012 20:02:39 GMT -5
There are few things more devastating than hearing that the TV series you've followed religiously, with the characters who've become like family to you, has been canceled. Unfortunately, in the ratings race that is television broadcasting the axe is always looming, and sometimes networks will unceremoniously end a show well before its time.
But in recent history, rabid fans of shows that have been canned too early have begun grassroots movements to bring them back. The most recent show to come back from the brink is NBC's Community. After rumors swirled around about its cancellation, fans of the show made their voices heard and the Peacock miraculously put it back onto the network schedule.
It's a shame that such truly good shows can be gone too soon when so much complete garbage endures, kept on air by dolts in suits and on sofas. To celebrate Community's return this Thursday at 8 p.m. ET, we're taking a look at 25 TV Shows That Should Be Canceled.
25. 19 Kids and Counting (TLC)
We’re not knocking the Duggar’s religious beliefs or their views on parenting, but their show, 19 Kids and Counting, has long overstayed its welcome. The first few seasons were a novelty. It was entertaining to watch Michelle and Jim Bob attempt to raise 17, then 18, and eventually 19, children on their own. They were quirky and offbeat with a good amount of unintentional deadpan humor, but now the show has been on long enough where the family’s exploits aren't as interesting anymore.
Like very other TLC show, 19 Kids and Counting should have been gone by season two; there is no need for it to still be going after five years. There are only so many times we can watch the Duggars travel the world like a Bible-thumping Von Trapp family without the urge to see what else is on.
24. Ringer (The CW)
The CW isn't known for its high-quality programming, and one of its newest shows, Ringer, further proves that the network is just running on creative fumes at this point. The show follows a woman named Bridget (Sarah Michelle Gellar) who assumes her wealthy twin sister's identity after she disappears. The premise is fine for a show that strives to be little more than a soap opera, but Ringer's humorless tone makes it unpleasant to slog through every melodramatic episode.
23. Retired at 35 (TV Land)
Every cliché of the sitcom format is found in TV Land's original series Retired at 35. Despite starring George Segal, Johnathan McClain, and the brilliant Jessica Walter, this show brings nothing new to the table and just pounds audiences with lame jokes that would have been played out in the '80s. The network used to be a place to enjoy classic sitcoms from television's golden years, like Happy Days and The Brady Bunch, so why TV Land would clog up its programming slot with original shows like this is a mystery to us.
22. Rules of Engagement (CBS)
Centering on a married couple, an engaged couple, and a single guy, played by David Spade, Rules of Engagement is filled with the type of relationship humor and observations that we have all seen in dozens of other shows like Mad About You and Friends. It's not that the show is terrible, it's just flat. Spade and Patrick Warburton add a good amount of humor to each episode, but there isn't enough solid writing and supporting actors to make this show really stand out.
21. Ancient Aliens (History)
Where do we begin? Ancient Aliens is a speculative documentary series on The History Channel that explores whether or not extraterrestrials visited Earth thousands of years ago and influenced our primitive culture. The debut two-hour-long pilot provided a few interesting theories about aliens building the pyramids, giving humans advanced technologies, and so forth, but the show went off the rails after that.
Now the show simply claims that almost everything that ever happened on the planet is the work of aliens. The ideas have become ludicrous, and the only way to really enjoy the show is to laugh along with it. There are theories that aliens are after our gold, that they have impregnated our women, and even introduced disease to our planet. The only saving grace for the show is watching how much bigger writer Giorgio A. Tsoukalos' hair gets from season to season.
20. Whitney (NBC)
We’re not saying Whitney Cummings isn’t funny; quite the opposite, actually. One look at her resumé is proof enough that she is downright hilarious and one of the better female comics in the industry. Unfortunately, there just seems to be something off about her show. Her brand of raunchy one-liners and generally disturbed views on life are toned down for TV, which is a crime because a strong, humorous female voice is desperately needed on television right now.
The show would have benefitted from being more like Curb Your Enthusiasm or Louie, but that type of humor would never fly with the suits at NBC. If Whitney ever does get canned, we would love to see Cummings bring her talent somewhere like HBO or Showtime where she would be able to better showcase what she is capable of.
19. Once Upon a Time (ABC)
Every once in a while, two TV shows or movies that are almost exactly the same release at the same time. For example, in 2006, The Prestige and The Illusionist hit theaters; both were about magicians and both were great. In 1998, Deep Impact and Armageddon came out within weeks of each other, and they both featured Earth sitting in the way of a gigantic comet. This is the dilemma that ABC and NBC are in with Once Upon A Time and Grimm, respectively. Both are fairy-tale dramas that bring Grimm’s stories to life in a more modern setting filled with backstabbing, crime, and intrigue.
Out of the two, Once Upon A Time is easily the weaker show, and thus expendable. It’s not that it’s the worst series on TV, but there really isn’t room for more than one fairy-tale drama, and we would definitely like to see Grimm stick around. Truth be told neither show lives up to its premise completely, and we would easily give up on both in exchange for a TV series based on Bill Willingham’s tremendous fairy-tale comic, Fables.
18. Napoleon Dynamite (Fox)
Back when it was first released, in 2004, Napoleon Dynamite became a major cult sensation for indie movie lovers everywhere. In 2012, someone at Fox had the brilliant idea to adapt the film into an animated series and put in the same block of programming as hits like The Simpsons and Family Guy.
The only problem is that the show debuted almost eight years after the movie hit theaters and well after Napoleon Dynamite fever had been all but cured. Now what we're left with is a show that features the same voice acting and humor as the movie, but it's years after its expiration date. If you're going to take advantage of a movie phenomenon, be sure to do it before it's become a stale joke.
17. Unforgettable (CBS)
For a show titled Unforgettable, it's pretty ironic just how easy it is to forget about it after the closing credits. It's not as sinfully awful or offensive as some of the shows on this list, but this bland police procedural fails to break any new ground.
In the show, Poppy Montgomery plays Detective Carrie Wells, a woman who has the ability to remember everything that ever happened to her. This ability is based on a real medical condition called hyperthymesia, but this little wrinkle doesn't make the show any more interesting. It's too slow and plodding to really grab audiences, and it also lacks the wit and charm of the better cop shows on TV.
16. I Hate My Teenage Daughter (Fox)
If this show tells us anything, it's that network comedy is in a dire state. I Hate My Teenage Daughter follows two mothers as they try to prevent their daughters from turning into the types of girls that used to torment them as children. With Jaime Pressly as the star, the show looks good on the surface, but once the same tired old jokes begin flailing, it soon becomes evident that I Hate My Teenage Daughter offers nothing new to viewers.
The show often depends on the same types of jokes about shallow teenage girls that we have seen for decades now, and the insipid laugh track doesn't help matters. Plus, like most bad sitcoms, the writers of the show feel it necessary to shoehorn as many jokes into a scene as possible, which ruins any natural back-and-forth between the mothers and daughters that could have happened. If this is the future of the sitcom genre, then it would be best to just cut ties with it all together.
15. The X Factor (Fox)
Make no mistake about it: This is a blatant American Idol clone. As the brainchild of Simon Cowell, The X Factor is another retread into the singing competition genre that adds absolutely nothing different to the dozens of other ones out there. Sure, there are little details that separate it, such as group talent and lack of an age limit, but not enough to justify its existence.
We're not certain what the pitch meeting looked like for this show, but it's certainly possible that Cowell simply crossed out American Idol on the paperwork, replaced it with The X Factor, and made millions. With so many similar shows already clogging the airwaves, we can't justify this one still being around.
14. Franklin & Bash (TNT)
The shows on TNT range from passable (Falling Skies) to dull. And there is little doubt that Franklin & Bash falls into the latter category. Starring Breckin Meyer and Mark-Paul Gosselaar, this show attempts to add a humorous spin to the legal procedural genre by introducing to two characters more likely to be in a National Lampoon movie than a court room drama. They both like to party and are often found carousing with women, but the show fails to really deliver the laughs necessary to be on the air for long.
The humor ranges from chuckle-worthy to completely unbelievable as the duo's immature act seems too outlandish to ever be bought. The series' jokes depend too much on their unorthodox views on the legal system, and the show becomes predictable because of that. Admittedly, Meyers and Gosselaar are very good in their respective roles, but there simply needs to be more meat on the bone than what is shown. It's a novel concept to have a legal show that's also a comedy (we're not looking at you, Ally McBeal), but there are better ways to do it than this.
13. Rob (CBS)
Rob Schneider being given his own sitcom is further proof that the land of television isn’t ruled by popular opinion, but more like the anarchistic wasteland from Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome. Instead of bringing something new and daring to CBS' slate of bland humor, Rob simply settles on being an ethnic mismatch sitcom (he marries into a crazy Latino family!) like dozens that have come before it.
It’s not funny, smart, or endearing. Rob is just an example of the major networks being completely out of touch with what audiences really want. The interesting part is that Schneider’s acting is not to blame. He is easily the strongest aspect of the show, but the writing depends too much on stereotypical ethnic humor. After a while it just becomes tiresome to sit through. In small doses Schneider might be able to add something to a sitcom, but this just doesn’t work.
12. Pregnant in Heels (Bravo)
Who would want to watch a bunch of rich, self-obsessed moms get maternity advice from a pretentious life coach? Well that's exactly the audience that Bravo was counting on when it launched Pregnant in Heels last year. The show follows "maternity concierge" Rosie Pope as she helps demanding mothers get whatever they want. This could range from needlessly expensive baby clothes and nursery items, to helping with the baby name.
This is the most pointless show on television, bar none. There is no drama, intrigue, or humor. It's just about spoiled pregnant women who don't have enough of a personality of their own to make any life decisions regarding their own children. If you really need to see the bland minutia of what it's like to be a self-absorbed pregnant woman, then by all means, watch this show religiously. For the other 99.99% of you, just pray that this gets the boot soon.
11. Pan Am (ABC)
When Pan Am was first announced, it looked like a sleek callback to the stylish airlines that dominated the skies in the '60s. The retro look of the show, potential espionage storyline, and the solid cast lured people into believing that it could be something more than a typical ABC soap opera, but unfortunately it never quite reached those heights.
The show as a whole failed to really make a name for itself and separate itself from shows like Desperate Housewives and Grey's Anatomy. A second season of Pan Am is still up in the air at this point and ABC has gone out of its way to claim that it has not yet been canceled, but if you look at the ratings and reviews, it doesn't look good (which is good).
10. Dancing With the Stars (ABC)
Dancing with the Stars is the perfect example of a show that has a great idea but horrible execution. Think about it: The talent ranges from professional athletes like Jerry Rice and Hines Ward, to celebrities with two left feet like Penn Jillette and Tucker Carlson. Where is the suspense? Where is the drama? It’s always obvious who will be eliminated first and who will move on to the finals.
The show should only feature celebrities who have the athletic abilities of a beached Sperm Whale purely for the comedic potential. It would also be interesting to see which out-of-shape celebs could go from cream puff to Fred Astaire as the season moves on. We don't need to see former athletes compete with out-of-shape political pundits; it simply doesn't make sense.
9. Two and a Half Men (CBS)
Right when Charlie Sheen uttered the phrase "Tiger Blood," we knew the death knell for Two and a Half Men had sounded. But the producers of the show decided to keep it on life support after Sheen's departure, much to the chagrin of longtime fans. By replacing Sheen with Ashton Kutcher, CBS was hoping to milk a few more years out of the Chuck Lorre cash cow, but if anything it only served to stain its legacy.
The inclusion of Kutcher hasn’t added anything to the show yet as he basically plays a very unlikeable, and unrealistic, millionaire. What we’re left with is a string of tired jokes and plots as the show somehow continues to chug along. Like watching a long-suffering relative struggle in a hospital bed, we think it would be more humane to just pull the plug.
8. The Killing (AMC)
Oh The Killing, you were filled with such promise at first! Twisting plots, great characters, and an engrossing murder mystery centered around a seemingly sweet teen all pointed to signs of the next great AMC drama. Unfortunately, the show has since sputtered off thanks to some incomprehensible story decisions. When you’re dealing with a mystery show, a few miscues by the writing staff can sink the ship entirely.
Without closure or big payoffs, The Killing went from new and interesting, to dull and frustrating. We love a good mystery as much as anyone else, but when we feel more exasperation than investment with each new episode, we no longer care to see the case get solved.
7. The Cleveland Show (Fox)
The brainchild of Seth MacFarlane, The Cleveland Show is an attempt to expand the Family Guy empire to fill in the holes in Fox’s Sunday night animated lineup. The problem is that the show just isn’t as fresh as Family Guy was during its first four seasons, and it’s not nearly as good as American Dad has been since the start.
Cleveland Brown himself isn’t a strong enough character to carry an entire show, and the supporting cast just seems like a carbon copy of all MacFarlane’s other ideas. Aside from an absolutely hilarious cameo by “The Nature Boy” Ric Flair last season, The Cleveland Show isn’t living up to the high quality of MacFarlane's other work.
6. Teen Mom (MTV)
Is there any more exploitative or dangerous show on TV than Teen Mom? The show simply glamorizes the idea of being an unwed teenage mother by putting these girls on TV every week, having them featured in People Magazine, and basically turning them into celebrities. MTV isn't the best channel to turn to for cultural enlightenment or positive messages, and Teen Mom might be one of the network's most dangerous shows yet.
If it was at least entertaining we might be able to look past the irresponsible subject matter. However, Teen Mom just comes off as depressing after a while as it becomes clear that these girls are being exploited by the corporate machine. It's not often that we advocate a show be pulled due to general principle, but the television landscape would be a lot saner without Teen Mom on the schedule.
5. Kourtney and Kim Take New York (E!)
Has any rise to fame and fortune been more baffling than that of the Kardashian family? Much like the mysterious head statues on Easter Island, no one knows why they're here exactly and the general theory is that they were sent by extraterrestrials just to mess with us. But either way, it looks like they're here to stay.
Their latest show focuses on daughters Kourtney and Kim as they try to become real New Yorkers. And by "real" we mean that they hang out on Fifth Avenue and never go anywhere near Harlem or Red Hook. The show is completely devoid of anything that resembles intelligence as these two heiresses meander through each episode with a sense of undeserved accomplishment and entitlement that should stick in the craw of any working stiff watching their exploits.
4. Tyler Perry's House of Payne (TBS)
Tyler Perry is dichotomy at its best. His work always gets savaged by critics and audiences alike, yet he is still one of the highest-paid celebrities in Hollywood, and he seemingly comes out with a new TV show or movie every week. His greatest, and most baffling, accomplishment is his long-running sitcom, House of Payne. The characters are flat, the humor is scarce, and the laugh track is simply maddening, and yet it has somehow been on the air for seven seasons and has over 200 episodes under its belt.
Make no mistake about it: House of Payne has no end in sight. In a world where intelligent shows like Arrested Development and Freaks and Geeks get canceled well before they even hit their stride, seeing House of Payne still chugging along is mind-boggling.
3. Toddlers & Tiaras (TLC)
There isn’t a show on television that makes us more uncomfortable than Toddlers & Tiaras. Basically, cameras just follow a group of overbearing stage mothers who push their daughters into entering beauty pageants around the country. That might not sound too bad on the surface, because these pageants happen in a lot of towns, but Toddlers & Tiaras shows the amount of pressure and stress these young kids are under, and the ways the girls are made up and sexualized like grown women, making it very disturbing to watch after a while.
Kids are painted with gaudy makeup, their eyelashes and eyebrows are meticulously manicured, and their outfits are revealing even by Madonna's standards. One mother would ever feed her daughter sugary energy drinks in order to perk her up. We would say that this is bad for her teeth, but she might not be old enough to even have all of hers yet.
2. Jersey Shore (MTV)
The party is over. For nearly three years, the orange skinned denizens of the Jersey Shore have entertained us with tales of sex, booze, and grenades, but the gravy train is over. The raucous club scenes and roommate drama has gotten stale over the years, and it’s about time for the entire cast to go their separate ways.
When the show first started, the characters were all fresh-faced and idealistic; now they’re famous and they know it, and it has taken away from the unpredictability of the show. Plus, it’s very obvious that parts of the show might be scripted, even The Situation hinted at it in an interview on Regis and Kelly. Maybe we’ll see them again one day on Celebrity Rehab, Dancing with the Stars, or during Snooki’s inevitable run for public office. But for now they just need to go away for a while.
1. The Simpsons (Fox)
This one hurts and hurts a lot. There are very few Simpsons fans bigger than we are at Complex, but the past season has opened are eyes to just how far the show has fallen off. Everyone will tell you that The Simpsons has been declining in quality since 2000, but every season usually had about 10-15 episodes that were still close to the series’ "Golden Age."
But the last year has produced some of the most incomprehensible plots, some uninspired voice-acting, and, worse yet, an absolutely embarrassing "Treehouse of Horror" episode. We were all on board for The Simpsons to last forever, but now the amount of quality seasons has officially been eclipsed by the amount of sub-par ones, and this past year has been the worst yet. As much as it pains us to say, it’s time to move on. D'oh.
But in recent history, rabid fans of shows that have been canned too early have begun grassroots movements to bring them back. The most recent show to come back from the brink is NBC's Community. After rumors swirled around about its cancellation, fans of the show made their voices heard and the Peacock miraculously put it back onto the network schedule.
It's a shame that such truly good shows can be gone too soon when so much complete garbage endures, kept on air by dolts in suits and on sofas. To celebrate Community's return this Thursday at 8 p.m. ET, we're taking a look at 25 TV Shows That Should Be Canceled.
25. 19 Kids and Counting (TLC)
We’re not knocking the Duggar’s religious beliefs or their views on parenting, but their show, 19 Kids and Counting, has long overstayed its welcome. The first few seasons were a novelty. It was entertaining to watch Michelle and Jim Bob attempt to raise 17, then 18, and eventually 19, children on their own. They were quirky and offbeat with a good amount of unintentional deadpan humor, but now the show has been on long enough where the family’s exploits aren't as interesting anymore.
Like very other TLC show, 19 Kids and Counting should have been gone by season two; there is no need for it to still be going after five years. There are only so many times we can watch the Duggars travel the world like a Bible-thumping Von Trapp family without the urge to see what else is on.
24. Ringer (The CW)
The CW isn't known for its high-quality programming, and one of its newest shows, Ringer, further proves that the network is just running on creative fumes at this point. The show follows a woman named Bridget (Sarah Michelle Gellar) who assumes her wealthy twin sister's identity after she disappears. The premise is fine for a show that strives to be little more than a soap opera, but Ringer's humorless tone makes it unpleasant to slog through every melodramatic episode.
23. Retired at 35 (TV Land)
Every cliché of the sitcom format is found in TV Land's original series Retired at 35. Despite starring George Segal, Johnathan McClain, and the brilliant Jessica Walter, this show brings nothing new to the table and just pounds audiences with lame jokes that would have been played out in the '80s. The network used to be a place to enjoy classic sitcoms from television's golden years, like Happy Days and The Brady Bunch, so why TV Land would clog up its programming slot with original shows like this is a mystery to us.
22. Rules of Engagement (CBS)
Centering on a married couple, an engaged couple, and a single guy, played by David Spade, Rules of Engagement is filled with the type of relationship humor and observations that we have all seen in dozens of other shows like Mad About You and Friends. It's not that the show is terrible, it's just flat. Spade and Patrick Warburton add a good amount of humor to each episode, but there isn't enough solid writing and supporting actors to make this show really stand out.
21. Ancient Aliens (History)
Where do we begin? Ancient Aliens is a speculative documentary series on The History Channel that explores whether or not extraterrestrials visited Earth thousands of years ago and influenced our primitive culture. The debut two-hour-long pilot provided a few interesting theories about aliens building the pyramids, giving humans advanced technologies, and so forth, but the show went off the rails after that.
Now the show simply claims that almost everything that ever happened on the planet is the work of aliens. The ideas have become ludicrous, and the only way to really enjoy the show is to laugh along with it. There are theories that aliens are after our gold, that they have impregnated our women, and even introduced disease to our planet. The only saving grace for the show is watching how much bigger writer Giorgio A. Tsoukalos' hair gets from season to season.
20. Whitney (NBC)
We’re not saying Whitney Cummings isn’t funny; quite the opposite, actually. One look at her resumé is proof enough that she is downright hilarious and one of the better female comics in the industry. Unfortunately, there just seems to be something off about her show. Her brand of raunchy one-liners and generally disturbed views on life are toned down for TV, which is a crime because a strong, humorous female voice is desperately needed on television right now.
The show would have benefitted from being more like Curb Your Enthusiasm or Louie, but that type of humor would never fly with the suits at NBC. If Whitney ever does get canned, we would love to see Cummings bring her talent somewhere like HBO or Showtime where she would be able to better showcase what she is capable of.
19. Once Upon a Time (ABC)
Every once in a while, two TV shows or movies that are almost exactly the same release at the same time. For example, in 2006, The Prestige and The Illusionist hit theaters; both were about magicians and both were great. In 1998, Deep Impact and Armageddon came out within weeks of each other, and they both featured Earth sitting in the way of a gigantic comet. This is the dilemma that ABC and NBC are in with Once Upon A Time and Grimm, respectively. Both are fairy-tale dramas that bring Grimm’s stories to life in a more modern setting filled with backstabbing, crime, and intrigue.
Out of the two, Once Upon A Time is easily the weaker show, and thus expendable. It’s not that it’s the worst series on TV, but there really isn’t room for more than one fairy-tale drama, and we would definitely like to see Grimm stick around. Truth be told neither show lives up to its premise completely, and we would easily give up on both in exchange for a TV series based on Bill Willingham’s tremendous fairy-tale comic, Fables.
18. Napoleon Dynamite (Fox)
Back when it was first released, in 2004, Napoleon Dynamite became a major cult sensation for indie movie lovers everywhere. In 2012, someone at Fox had the brilliant idea to adapt the film into an animated series and put in the same block of programming as hits like The Simpsons and Family Guy.
The only problem is that the show debuted almost eight years after the movie hit theaters and well after Napoleon Dynamite fever had been all but cured. Now what we're left with is a show that features the same voice acting and humor as the movie, but it's years after its expiration date. If you're going to take advantage of a movie phenomenon, be sure to do it before it's become a stale joke.
17. Unforgettable (CBS)
For a show titled Unforgettable, it's pretty ironic just how easy it is to forget about it after the closing credits. It's not as sinfully awful or offensive as some of the shows on this list, but this bland police procedural fails to break any new ground.
In the show, Poppy Montgomery plays Detective Carrie Wells, a woman who has the ability to remember everything that ever happened to her. This ability is based on a real medical condition called hyperthymesia, but this little wrinkle doesn't make the show any more interesting. It's too slow and plodding to really grab audiences, and it also lacks the wit and charm of the better cop shows on TV.
16. I Hate My Teenage Daughter (Fox)
If this show tells us anything, it's that network comedy is in a dire state. I Hate My Teenage Daughter follows two mothers as they try to prevent their daughters from turning into the types of girls that used to torment them as children. With Jaime Pressly as the star, the show looks good on the surface, but once the same tired old jokes begin flailing, it soon becomes evident that I Hate My Teenage Daughter offers nothing new to viewers.
The show often depends on the same types of jokes about shallow teenage girls that we have seen for decades now, and the insipid laugh track doesn't help matters. Plus, like most bad sitcoms, the writers of the show feel it necessary to shoehorn as many jokes into a scene as possible, which ruins any natural back-and-forth between the mothers and daughters that could have happened. If this is the future of the sitcom genre, then it would be best to just cut ties with it all together.
15. The X Factor (Fox)
Make no mistake about it: This is a blatant American Idol clone. As the brainchild of Simon Cowell, The X Factor is another retread into the singing competition genre that adds absolutely nothing different to the dozens of other ones out there. Sure, there are little details that separate it, such as group talent and lack of an age limit, but not enough to justify its existence.
We're not certain what the pitch meeting looked like for this show, but it's certainly possible that Cowell simply crossed out American Idol on the paperwork, replaced it with The X Factor, and made millions. With so many similar shows already clogging the airwaves, we can't justify this one still being around.
14. Franklin & Bash (TNT)
The shows on TNT range from passable (Falling Skies) to dull. And there is little doubt that Franklin & Bash falls into the latter category. Starring Breckin Meyer and Mark-Paul Gosselaar, this show attempts to add a humorous spin to the legal procedural genre by introducing to two characters more likely to be in a National Lampoon movie than a court room drama. They both like to party and are often found carousing with women, but the show fails to really deliver the laughs necessary to be on the air for long.
The humor ranges from chuckle-worthy to completely unbelievable as the duo's immature act seems too outlandish to ever be bought. The series' jokes depend too much on their unorthodox views on the legal system, and the show becomes predictable because of that. Admittedly, Meyers and Gosselaar are very good in their respective roles, but there simply needs to be more meat on the bone than what is shown. It's a novel concept to have a legal show that's also a comedy (we're not looking at you, Ally McBeal), but there are better ways to do it than this.
13. Rob (CBS)
Rob Schneider being given his own sitcom is further proof that the land of television isn’t ruled by popular opinion, but more like the anarchistic wasteland from Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome. Instead of bringing something new and daring to CBS' slate of bland humor, Rob simply settles on being an ethnic mismatch sitcom (he marries into a crazy Latino family!) like dozens that have come before it.
It’s not funny, smart, or endearing. Rob is just an example of the major networks being completely out of touch with what audiences really want. The interesting part is that Schneider’s acting is not to blame. He is easily the strongest aspect of the show, but the writing depends too much on stereotypical ethnic humor. After a while it just becomes tiresome to sit through. In small doses Schneider might be able to add something to a sitcom, but this just doesn’t work.
12. Pregnant in Heels (Bravo)
Who would want to watch a bunch of rich, self-obsessed moms get maternity advice from a pretentious life coach? Well that's exactly the audience that Bravo was counting on when it launched Pregnant in Heels last year. The show follows "maternity concierge" Rosie Pope as she helps demanding mothers get whatever they want. This could range from needlessly expensive baby clothes and nursery items, to helping with the baby name.
This is the most pointless show on television, bar none. There is no drama, intrigue, or humor. It's just about spoiled pregnant women who don't have enough of a personality of their own to make any life decisions regarding their own children. If you really need to see the bland minutia of what it's like to be a self-absorbed pregnant woman, then by all means, watch this show religiously. For the other 99.99% of you, just pray that this gets the boot soon.
11. Pan Am (ABC)
When Pan Am was first announced, it looked like a sleek callback to the stylish airlines that dominated the skies in the '60s. The retro look of the show, potential espionage storyline, and the solid cast lured people into believing that it could be something more than a typical ABC soap opera, but unfortunately it never quite reached those heights.
The show as a whole failed to really make a name for itself and separate itself from shows like Desperate Housewives and Grey's Anatomy. A second season of Pan Am is still up in the air at this point and ABC has gone out of its way to claim that it has not yet been canceled, but if you look at the ratings and reviews, it doesn't look good (which is good).
10. Dancing With the Stars (ABC)
Dancing with the Stars is the perfect example of a show that has a great idea but horrible execution. Think about it: The talent ranges from professional athletes like Jerry Rice and Hines Ward, to celebrities with two left feet like Penn Jillette and Tucker Carlson. Where is the suspense? Where is the drama? It’s always obvious who will be eliminated first and who will move on to the finals.
The show should only feature celebrities who have the athletic abilities of a beached Sperm Whale purely for the comedic potential. It would also be interesting to see which out-of-shape celebs could go from cream puff to Fred Astaire as the season moves on. We don't need to see former athletes compete with out-of-shape political pundits; it simply doesn't make sense.
9. Two and a Half Men (CBS)
Right when Charlie Sheen uttered the phrase "Tiger Blood," we knew the death knell for Two and a Half Men had sounded. But the producers of the show decided to keep it on life support after Sheen's departure, much to the chagrin of longtime fans. By replacing Sheen with Ashton Kutcher, CBS was hoping to milk a few more years out of the Chuck Lorre cash cow, but if anything it only served to stain its legacy.
The inclusion of Kutcher hasn’t added anything to the show yet as he basically plays a very unlikeable, and unrealistic, millionaire. What we’re left with is a string of tired jokes and plots as the show somehow continues to chug along. Like watching a long-suffering relative struggle in a hospital bed, we think it would be more humane to just pull the plug.
8. The Killing (AMC)
Oh The Killing, you were filled with such promise at first! Twisting plots, great characters, and an engrossing murder mystery centered around a seemingly sweet teen all pointed to signs of the next great AMC drama. Unfortunately, the show has since sputtered off thanks to some incomprehensible story decisions. When you’re dealing with a mystery show, a few miscues by the writing staff can sink the ship entirely.
Without closure or big payoffs, The Killing went from new and interesting, to dull and frustrating. We love a good mystery as much as anyone else, but when we feel more exasperation than investment with each new episode, we no longer care to see the case get solved.
7. The Cleveland Show (Fox)
The brainchild of Seth MacFarlane, The Cleveland Show is an attempt to expand the Family Guy empire to fill in the holes in Fox’s Sunday night animated lineup. The problem is that the show just isn’t as fresh as Family Guy was during its first four seasons, and it’s not nearly as good as American Dad has been since the start.
Cleveland Brown himself isn’t a strong enough character to carry an entire show, and the supporting cast just seems like a carbon copy of all MacFarlane’s other ideas. Aside from an absolutely hilarious cameo by “The Nature Boy” Ric Flair last season, The Cleveland Show isn’t living up to the high quality of MacFarlane's other work.
6. Teen Mom (MTV)
Is there any more exploitative or dangerous show on TV than Teen Mom? The show simply glamorizes the idea of being an unwed teenage mother by putting these girls on TV every week, having them featured in People Magazine, and basically turning them into celebrities. MTV isn't the best channel to turn to for cultural enlightenment or positive messages, and Teen Mom might be one of the network's most dangerous shows yet.
If it was at least entertaining we might be able to look past the irresponsible subject matter. However, Teen Mom just comes off as depressing after a while as it becomes clear that these girls are being exploited by the corporate machine. It's not often that we advocate a show be pulled due to general principle, but the television landscape would be a lot saner without Teen Mom on the schedule.
5. Kourtney and Kim Take New York (E!)
Has any rise to fame and fortune been more baffling than that of the Kardashian family? Much like the mysterious head statues on Easter Island, no one knows why they're here exactly and the general theory is that they were sent by extraterrestrials just to mess with us. But either way, it looks like they're here to stay.
Their latest show focuses on daughters Kourtney and Kim as they try to become real New Yorkers. And by "real" we mean that they hang out on Fifth Avenue and never go anywhere near Harlem or Red Hook. The show is completely devoid of anything that resembles intelligence as these two heiresses meander through each episode with a sense of undeserved accomplishment and entitlement that should stick in the craw of any working stiff watching their exploits.
4. Tyler Perry's House of Payne (TBS)
Tyler Perry is dichotomy at its best. His work always gets savaged by critics and audiences alike, yet he is still one of the highest-paid celebrities in Hollywood, and he seemingly comes out with a new TV show or movie every week. His greatest, and most baffling, accomplishment is his long-running sitcom, House of Payne. The characters are flat, the humor is scarce, and the laugh track is simply maddening, and yet it has somehow been on the air for seven seasons and has over 200 episodes under its belt.
Make no mistake about it: House of Payne has no end in sight. In a world where intelligent shows like Arrested Development and Freaks and Geeks get canceled well before they even hit their stride, seeing House of Payne still chugging along is mind-boggling.
3. Toddlers & Tiaras (TLC)
There isn’t a show on television that makes us more uncomfortable than Toddlers & Tiaras. Basically, cameras just follow a group of overbearing stage mothers who push their daughters into entering beauty pageants around the country. That might not sound too bad on the surface, because these pageants happen in a lot of towns, but Toddlers & Tiaras shows the amount of pressure and stress these young kids are under, and the ways the girls are made up and sexualized like grown women, making it very disturbing to watch after a while.
Kids are painted with gaudy makeup, their eyelashes and eyebrows are meticulously manicured, and their outfits are revealing even by Madonna's standards. One mother would ever feed her daughter sugary energy drinks in order to perk her up. We would say that this is bad for her teeth, but she might not be old enough to even have all of hers yet.
2. Jersey Shore (MTV)
The party is over. For nearly three years, the orange skinned denizens of the Jersey Shore have entertained us with tales of sex, booze, and grenades, but the gravy train is over. The raucous club scenes and roommate drama has gotten stale over the years, and it’s about time for the entire cast to go their separate ways.
When the show first started, the characters were all fresh-faced and idealistic; now they’re famous and they know it, and it has taken away from the unpredictability of the show. Plus, it’s very obvious that parts of the show might be scripted, even The Situation hinted at it in an interview on Regis and Kelly. Maybe we’ll see them again one day on Celebrity Rehab, Dancing with the Stars, or during Snooki’s inevitable run for public office. But for now they just need to go away for a while.
1. The Simpsons (Fox)
This one hurts and hurts a lot. There are very few Simpsons fans bigger than we are at Complex, but the past season has opened are eyes to just how far the show has fallen off. Everyone will tell you that The Simpsons has been declining in quality since 2000, but every season usually had about 10-15 episodes that were still close to the series’ "Golden Age."
But the last year has produced some of the most incomprehensible plots, some uninspired voice-acting, and, worse yet, an absolutely embarrassing "Treehouse of Horror" episode. We were all on board for The Simpsons to last forever, but now the amount of quality seasons has officially been eclipsed by the amount of sub-par ones, and this past year has been the worst yet. As much as it pains us to say, it’s time to move on. D'oh.
